The Reverend Dr. Godzilla

Alcholic what?!

2010-12-21T19:50:00.000-08:00

Well, the wife is out of town visiting her mother, so I suppose I have time for an update, and seeing as I haven't written anything here since last I set foot in Texas, then perhaps now is a fitting time.

Texas is huge, but mostly empty, much like the inhabitants' heads. A note to anyone driving here - they drive ten miles under the speed limit, AT LEAST. Being from Southern California, I'm used to everyone driving ten miles OVER the speed limit. So to me, everyone here is driving twenty miles too slow. My barber told me that things are a little slower here, and he wasn't kidding.

Well after several weeks and nigh unto a hundred applications, I got tired of watching my pitiful savings dive bomb, I took a job at another liquor store. Yes, this is what having a Master's degree in English will do for you, make you fit to work in alcohol. Just look at my coworkers. Two others have Masters in English, another two have Bachelors, and yet another is studying for his B.A.

English degree = Alcohol.

Faulkner, Hemingway, Fitzgerald et al. Let's face it, writers are born to booze...

hang on, I need another beer...

Right. Where was I? Beer. Check.

Texas has the most asinine liquor laws. There's still a lot of blue laws on the books. Liquor cannot be sold on Sundays, and no Beer and Wine before Noon. Any beer coming into the state must pass a "Label Commission" which apparently smokes crack before passing judgement on which beers are allowed in. For example: Dogfish Head's Raging Bitch was ok to enter, but Dogfish Head's Bitches' Brew was not. Apparently they have a problem with alliteration.

There are two breweries here. 2. I just moved from a place with 40+ breweries.

Still, at least it's not Utah.

Right, so the Girlfriend. Not many of you know that I proposed to her a year ago. Not officially, of course, since I didn't have a ring, and I didn't get down on one knee...but a year ago I already knew I wanted to marry her.

Our first night here in our apartment I got down on my knee and gave her a ring. Thanks to my good friend Janessa for helping me get a ring. Two re-sizes later and it fits my loving wife's insanely small hands.

I'm pretty sure her hands are small enough to get work as a hand model. If Palahniuk's 'Invisible Monsters' was right, that is...

Anyways, we're getting married January 15th, fyi, for those of you have haven't noticed my numerous Facebook updates proclaiming this. Yes, it's short notice, yes, I'm sorry, yes, we're aware that means many people won't be able to make it.

So anyways, back to Texas and the strange new world I find myself in.

I made Chili. I make good Chili. Last second changes to my Chili tend to throw off the spices, but still, it came out tasty.

Back to Alcohol...

In case you didn't know, alcohol and caffeine is a stupid idea. Downers and uppers. A couple kids up in Washington were drinking one of those insipid drinks and died. Legal ramifications? All caffeinated liquor is being pulled form shelves. That means Pink vodka, Belvedere Intense, a few others. Google it, don't make me be your source of news, that's John Stewart's job.

There is, however, alcoholic whipped cream. Yes. And it's flavored. Chocolate, Vanilla, Raspberry...and something else, i forget. I bought one of the Chocolates....and I'm sure you want to know how it tasted.

Taint.

You shake the bottle, upend it and spray some cream into your mouth. It's chocolate, yum....there's alcohol...hmmm, alcoholic chocolate, like a mudslide, cool...hrmmm, doesn't quite taste right...ick, aftertaste.

Basically the alcohol is cheap grain spirits, like the vodka I drank to get through District 9. It makes the chocolate taste like it's a year old and not worth eating. There's a bit of an aftertaste, though not quite as bad as Heineken.

Still, amusement factor alone, Alcoholic Chocolate Whipped Cream.

Think I'd rather have a Brooklyn Brewery's Black Chocolate Stout. Or a Harpoon Chocolate Stout. or a Youngs Double Chocolate Stout.

or some Godiva Vodka.

or a Mudslide.

Still, I suppose this would serve as a garnish for a Mudslide...

I am the Rev. Dr. Godzilla, with whipped cream.

Tex Jex

2010-07-01T20:30:00.000-07:00

Know, O reader, that between the years when the oceans drank Atlantis and the gleaming cities, and the years of the rise of the sons of Aryas, there was an age undreamed of, when shining kingdoms lay spread across the world like blue mantles beneath the stars--Nemedia, Ophir, Brythunia, Hyperborea, Zamora with its dark-haired women and towers of spider-haunted mystery, Zingaria with its chivalry, Koth that bordered on the pastoral lands of Shem, Stygia with its shadow-guarded tombs, Hyrkania whose riders wore steel and silk and gold. But the proudest kingdom in the world was Texas, reigning supreme in the dreaming west. Hither came Jex, black-haired, sullen-eyed, sword in hand, a thief, a reaver, a slayer, with gigantic melancholies and gigantic mirth, to tread the jeweled thrones of the Earth under his sandaled feet.

Apologies to R.E. Howard, but since Texas was his homeland, I deigned it apropos.

I am having a Viking rebirth. Everything I own has been loaded into my ship, and I have set forth not to burn at sea, but to carve my kingdom upon the earth.

My Manifest Destiny is not to load my wagon and head west, but to load up my truck, Bucephalos, and conquer my known world.

I was driving for 12 hours, of course there's going to be multiple esoteric references. Deal with it. And yes, I named my truck Bucephalos.

Today is the first day I have set foot in Texas. I have come through the fires of the Arizona Desert, and the wind and rains of Hurricane Alex. This state is trying its damndest to expunge the Jex, but we're tenacious little bastards, and we're going to rip its bloody throat out.

Stay tuned, true believers, stay tuned.

Tequila!

2009-12-06T10:02:00.000-08:00

Whilst sorting through the paperwork on my desk, I came across the list of Tequilas that were featured at the last Tequila Tasting I worked at.

So here you go:

Sauza Tres Generaciones Anejo

Chinaco Blanco

Oro Azul Anejo

Fortaleza Blanco

Chaya Anejo

Cazadores Reposado

Patron Silver

Patron Reposado

Patron Anejo

Gran Patron Platinum

Don Eduardo Blanco

Don Eduardo Reposado

Don Eduardo Anejo

Partida Anejo

D Los Altos Reposado

Milagro Select Barrel Silver

Milagro Select Barrel Reposado

El Conde Azul Reposado

Gran Centenario Anejo

Casa Noble 5yr Anejo

La Pinta Pomegranate Tequila

Clase Azul Platino

Corralejo Reposado

Don Julio Blanco

Herencia Anejo

Jose Cuervo Reserva da la Familia Platino

1921 Special Reserve

Pizza Port Strong Ale Festival

2009-12-05T05:16:00.000-08:00

Budweiser has an ABV, alcohol by volume, of 5%. Guinness is 4.5%. Your average beer is not high up there in alcohol. A strong ale, however, has at least 8%. Still not as strong as Wine, which is usually around 12 to 14%, but Beer Festivals are so much more fun. So what the hell did I end up drinking last night at the Pizza Port Strong Ale Festival?!

30 dollars gets you in the door, where you get a glass and tickets for your 8 tasters. 8 four once tastes, 30 bucks. Might seem like a lot of money, but factor in how much it would cost to try 8 beers of this level. Nectar Ales' Black Xantus, for example, sells for about 15 dollars a bottle. That's half the cost of the festival right there.

The best beer I had last night was Bear Republic's Clobberskull. It's an English Strong style, with an ABV of 10.5%, and aged in Cabernet barrels. I love English Strong ales, definitely my favorite style, and this one was true to the style, even if it came out of California.

I got to try the Life & Limb, which is a collaboration between Dogfish Head and Sierra Nevada Brewing. Strong Ale, ABV of 10.2%.

La Jolla Brewing's Thor, an Imperial Red, ABV 8.6%, dry hopped with Cascade, Amarillo and Simcoe.

Ballast Point's Barmy, a Honey Fruit Beer, ABV 10.0%, made with honey and apricots.

Alaskan Brewing's Baltic Porter, ABV 9.8%.

Ballast Point's Victory at Sea, an Imperial Porter, ABV 10%, made with coffee and vanilla bean, and the best beer made in San Diego.

Buckbean's Very Noddy, ABV 10.5%, an Imperial Schwarzbier.

Deschutes Brewing's Black Butte XXI, an imperial porter, 11% ABV, aged in Stranahan Whiskey barrels.

Drake's Brewing's Denogginizer, a Double IPA with an ABV of 9.2% ABV.

Grand Teton's Black Cauldron, an Imperial Stout with an ABV of 8%.

Green Flash's Palate Wrecker, a Double IPA, ABV 9.5%

Papago Brewing's Oude Zuipers, a Tripel, ABV 11%.

Hair of the Dog's Doggie Claws, a Barleywine, ABV 11.5%

Lagunitas' Gnarleywine, a barleywine, ABV 9.7%.

Yeah, that's 14 beers. Had a few more than the 8 tasters. It's good to know how to work the system.

A New Religion

2009-10-23T12:19:00.001-07:00

So today, whilst preparing to foist off more alcohol upon the ever ignorant public, I started thinking about the concept of good and evil, in the paradigm of the Christian religion, of course, because they're so much fun to make fun of.

The idea of hell, of evil. I thought about the presupposition that this place necessarily be somewhere other than the place for good people. but then I thought, if God is omnipotent and omniscient, then he's also an evil mother fucker. Literally, in the case of the holy trinity, figuratively in this case.

So I started thinking about an afterlife where both the good and the evil are side by side. You know, kind of like Los Angeles. And then I had my great Revelation.

We're all dead.

Yes, you see, we're already in the afterlife, and there's both the good, the bad and the ugly...would that still be both? Mmmm, grammatical details.

Anyways, I figure you die, but then you cling to those past memories, the idea of how your life once was, and your mental state clouds your afterlife and creates this shithole you call your living life. But you're not live, you're dead.

We're all dead. (Yes, I've been reading about the Nac Mac Feegle, leave me alone.)

Now I must propagate this prophecy, and convince people to release their grasp on this mental hold of a previous existance. Die to be truly dead again!

Killed by Death.

This is my contribution to humanity. Decreasing the Overpopulated planet. Heh.

Now if I could just work twinkies into it.

Commitment.

2009-09-22T20:42:00.000-07:00

In October, the University of California Davis begins accepting applications for the Fall 2010 semester. I plan on applying for their Viticulture program.

This means moving to Davis, which if you don't know, is situated northeast of San Francisco, near Sacramento. Most likely I can transfer jobs up there, I'm not sure.

What I am sure of is that I am making zero headway here in San Diego. Yes, I have a sweet life. I live half a block from the beach, in perfect weather, with hundreds of attractions to amuse me, from the Zoo to Brews. Heh. I should be in marketing.

While it's fun to work where I do, it's still a shitty retail job.

I'm a 31 yr old living a 21 yr old's life. And I'm going to fix that.

Of course, all this is contingent upon my being accepted at UC Davis. I wonder if I should even mention having a Master's or not. Would that be prudent, when I'm going for a second Bachelor's?

Decision Reached.

2009-09-22T08:08:00.000-07:00

You know, really, I could just keep this vague, record all the comments, advice and whatnot, and turn it into a really fun self-help book. Kind of like Choose Your Own Adventure, the Magic 8 Ball, et al.

Don't know what to do? Just flip this book open to any page and get your answer!

Flip flip flip "Get the bloody surgery done you wanker."

Flip flip flip "What kind of crack are you on to even consider such a thing?"

You know, like a more modern I Ching.

The Decision

2009-09-21T22:28:00.001-07:00

I have a Credential of Ministry, a Bachelor's, a Master's, even a Doctorate, and yet, I still find myself working at a low level retail job hell.

I think it's time for a drastic life altering mind blowing decision to change all of this, which will likely involve radical restructuring of life and landscape.

Meena would approve.

There is still part of me holding back though, the reticent careful part, who hasn't quite been quashed, smashed, or ripped limb from bloody limb. Stubborn headstrong resilient bastard.

I had a quiz tonight, and for one of the questions, what is...I forget...something like diaphractic analysis or somesuch, my answer? "32 points in Scrabble." I sure hope my teacher has a sense of humour.

I want to go fishing.

Random Musings

2009-09-17T20:25:00.000-07:00

I'm in the middle of trying to organize my box o' notebooks, still. So you get these little random snippets of thoughts, musings and other mental miasma.

Have you ever wondered if the French fuck like they Fence? Lunge! Parry! Riposte!

I'm pretty sure I could write a thesis on how the Lord of the Rings is thinly disguised gay literature.

"We're all damaged goods, which, using the bell curve, makes us all equal."

In 1875, the Director of the American Patent Office resigned, saying, "What's the use of going on, there's nothing left to invent."

"Man is the only animal that maltreats the females of his kind." - Jack London

Moo-Chicken.

The Muffin Man.

Hamartia, that's the actual word for what is commonly known as the tragic flaw.

a politician is an arse upon
which everyone has set except a man
ee cummings

"You might as well stand and fight, because if you run you'll just die tired."

"An idea is a greater monument than a cathedral."

Philogyny. Oh yeah.

Tigger vs. Hobbes

2009-09-16T21:04:00.000-07:00

So, while I was cleaning, organizing and throwing away extraneous stuffs the other day, I came across the big jumbled box o' notebooks, papers and notes. Including the tally sheet for the Tigger vs. Hobbes debate, which, for entertainment purposes, I'll repost here.

I had the idea the other day, probably from watching too much Robot Chicken, about Winnie the Pooh going off and attacking the other inhabitants, and the only other animal there which might face off with him would be Tigger, but then I thought about Tigger fighting, and the idea of a Tiger fighting with someone instantly reminded me of Hobbes, from Calvin & Hobbes, of course. So what would happen if the two, a la Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus, were to clash in epic battle? Or even regular battle?

So I sent out a Text Message to damn near everyone in the address book on my phone. Some of you may have missed it, or I might not have your number, which is probably for your benefit, as random texts like these come through. 22 people responded, most instantly, which made for a fun day at work, thank you.

In the end, Hobbes won out by two votes. I didn't count my vote, but it would have been for Hobbes. Tigger can bounce around as goofy as he likes, but Hobbes would simply disembowel him, Homicidal Psycho Jungle Cat that he is. Feel free to renew the debate.

Did you know Virgin Records has their own Wine?

So does Dan Akroyd. He has expanded his liquor business(Crystal Head vodka) into wine. Good for him. Because he doesn't have enough money? No, because his House of Blues venues frequently host Metal Bands. Which reminds me, I need to figure out the friggin' next three concerts coming up before I misbook.

And so I leave you with the great Debate. Tigger or Hobbes?

Wine Bottling.

2009-09-13T21:01:00.000-07:00

So, being as I have been to *almost* every brewery and brewpub in San Diego(There are two I haven't been to) on Friday I offered to take my friend to one of the local ones, Oceanside Ale Works, as he'd never been. Unfortunately, I had to wait til I got off work...

I hate working Fridays. So I had a beer at lunch. ONE beer, a Tecate. When I got back to work after my lunch break, we had a vendor there doing a tequila tasting for the employees. And a vodka. So I had a shot of Gvori vodka(very clean), and then on to the tequila. Dos Manos tequila. Silver(technically it's a platinum since it's triple distilled) was smoother than expected, Reposado was okay, Anejo was decent. Not the best tequila I've had, but far better than many I've had as well. Then I had the Tonala anejo, which was good, I've been curious about that one, but was leery of it because of the bottle it comes in, which is a hand crafted ceramic vessel. There's a thing amongst tequila makers, and some sell their Tequila more through the appeal of the bottle rather than the tequila itself. I digress. Finally, I had some of that lovely Tonala 4 yr Anejo. Technically(again!) you could call it an extra-anejo, or leyenda, but they've been bottling this stuff since before the recent amendments to Mexican Tequila Regulations, so they're not calling it extra...That stuff is good, sublime, and a damn good deal, I must say. Good sipping Tequila.

So let's see, 1 Tecate, 1 vodka, and 5 Tequilas, and I still had 3 more hours of work...well, that last hour? Yeah, that's when we've started our beer tasting...

Sometimes Fridays suck, and sometimes I can light my breath on fire.

Anyways, we make it to Oceanside Ale Works and get our first pints, I get a bratwurst, and we're mingling, talking to people, checking out the brewery...and then we notice that right next door is a winery. So we amble on in, beers in hand, and start chatting to the guys at the winery. We decide to do their Wine Tasting, blow through a Barbera and a Nebbiolo that were unspectacular, but then they give us a Cabernet Reserve which was damn good, and a nice tawny Port, and I love me some Port.

Anyways, we chat up the guys, talk to them about coming in to my work to do a tasting for the employees(boo-yah!), and then they mention how they're bottling wine tomorrow, and to come by if we want to help out, get a couple bottles of wine out of it...

can you say hell yeah? And that's without having had 1 Tecate, 1 Vodka, 5 Tequilas, 1 Blonde Ale(4.5%), 1 Strong Ale (8.2% I think), and 5 or 6 glasses of wine(they certainly weren't counting)...

So much bloody fun. Got to learn a lot about the wine making process, got to have a lot fun. Of course we were drinking the wine as we were bottling it. Everyone had a glass. Of course we also had a pitcher of beer from next door. So it would be, Fill Bottle of wine, drink beer, cork bottle, drink wine, dry off bottle of wine, cap it, drink, heat wrap the cap on, drink some more, put the labels on, drink and drink and drink...box.

So yeah. Pickled. It was a bit of work, I'll confess, but to be honest, we were having so much fun we didn't care.

I owe thanks to my friend Susan who came and gave us a drive home(don't drink and drive kids!), and another thanks to my roommate who drove me back to get my truck.

Facebooking it

2009-09-10T17:22:00.000-07:00

So, this blog feeds directly to my Facebook account, which generates enough comments and movement that I've considered doing this far more often, much as I used to do on my old MySpace page. It would, at least, give more substance to the daily Facebook visit than inane quizes like, "What kind of Tampon are you?"

In reference to my previous post, I was called an asshole because I stated that I didn't like Michael Jackson. The Pop singer, not the Beer God. I never listened to his music, didn't like his whole shtick, and I blame him for the shitty artists foisted upon us by Mass Media.

The King of Pop? If he so claims. Good gimmick, self-promotion...and it leads to...Strippers. the Britney Spears era of Music Artists. Performers who cannot sing or write, but merely prance about stage in skimpy clothing. I call them Strippers.

So yes. Feedback is always welcome. Should I continue?

The Question of being an Asshole

2009-09-08T22:21:00.000-07:00

In one night, in less than five minutes time, I am told that I am the greatest, a sweetheart, someone I've known less than five minutes tells me they love me, I'm an asshole, I hate everything, and I'm the worst person ever. It's an interesting dichotomy of my life.

Frequently, the appellation of asshole is applied to me because of Music, Movies, or some other aspect of Popular Culture. If I have a discussion about movies with someone, as evident in my last blog, then generally there will be some disagreement. Style over Substance seems to be popular in Hollywood films, and if I criticize this, or point out its...lack of certain qualities, I am an asshole. Not that there are not a plethora of foreign films which fall into the Style category of film; Several foreign films I enjoy immensely are not in the Substance vein.

I don't listen to the radio or watch any of the dozen or so music television channels. Can't abbreviate that, as MTV doesn't play music, but MTV2, Fuse, CMT and several others do. Listening to Metal can be quite a bitch. Watch two metalheads meet for the first time, they have the size each other up. You never see two pop music size each other up quite the same as Metalheads do. We have to jump through hoops, throw names, prove ourselves. Pop Music fans don't have to go through Proving.

For those of my friends who have suffered through some of my more assholic episodes long enough to know me well enough will be able to affirm that I am merely a Contrarian. I don't like being told what I should like. The onus of this is that I have to search out my likes instead. I don't get them delivered to me via Mass Media. Sometimes, this results in my watching or hearing some truly obscure material, or simply being a few years ahead of the remake circuit.

Try having a conversation with someone and not being to discuss movies, music or television. Nice weather.

Martial Arts? I had the jujitsu conversation once too many times, now I try not to mention having ever studied any of the martial arts.

This is going to start rambling. Thank the insomnia.

I just finished watching a documentary on Steve McQueen. Some part of my brain is analyzing all of his movies and creating a summation of the Steve McQueen dress code. I blame my roommate leaving his copies of Details and Esquire in the bathroom.

I reread Lloyd Alexander's "The Book of Three". I read "The Wonderful Wizard of Oz" as well, mainly because of the 'Net Comic "Delusionary State." I have four or five webcomics I follow.

I have no career. I need to formulate get rich...in any time frame...schemes. Well, maybe a little quicker, if just to pay for the health care I know I need but can't afford.

Health care is on everyone's list of watercooler conversation lately, I hate to bring it up, but speaking as someone who knows they need to go to the doctor, but can't, because I can't bloody well afford it...ooh, more debt, yay, because the student loans aren't enough.

Did I mention I'm taking bloody auto shop classes just to keep my student loans deferred? When are we going to get Universal Education Care? When are my bloody degrees going to be worth a fucking damn? When I will get the constant bleeding fixed?

Not to mention the Dental Care. Does Dental Care fall into the whole Universal Health Care thing? Universal? Do we have to treat Martians? What about other illegal aliens? So it's just a National Health Care...right...look, just find a way to make it profitable for somebody, and it'll happen.

I had a cup of coffee in the afternoon just so I could stay awake to get my autoshop studying done, now I can't sleep when i really want to...which isn't really anything new, I can't ever seem to sleep when I want to.

Three days no drinking. This is harder than it seems. San Diego is one of the Beer Meccas of the world. Seriously. Other cities have more pubs, but we have both high quality breweries and brewpubs, and a lot of them. We have a definite beer culture here, so much so, in fact, that the Southern California IPA is being considered as an official beer designation by the World Beer Cup peoples. Speaking of which, Stone Brewery's latest seasonal beer, the Vertical Epic, will be unleashed tomorrow. 9-9-9, that's their shtick.

Bah, time to go read yet another book as I fail to yet again sleep for yet another night whilst I try not to drink a Yeti beer...just yet. Yet yet yet. Does it look funny yet?

I am the Reverend Doctor Godzilla, and I need a better paying shtick.

The Departed, and why I get into trouble over that movie

2009-07-12T13:24:00.000-07:00

In 2002, there was a Hong Kong film that came out called "Infernal Affairs." This film won over 23 awards in Hong Kong and in film circuits throughout the world. It was lauded as one of the greatest films to ever come out of asia. Why, therefore, do I have such a problem with this movie, why do I constantly get into fights in multiple bars, pubs and other fine drinking establishments? Well, one because those are the places I hang out in. And Two, because this movie was poorly treated in America.

Many of you, more than might know Infernal Affairs, might know a little film starring Leonardo DiCaprio called The Departed. Matt Damon, Jack Nickel's son, yeah. This movie should never have been made. The Departed is a direct remake of Infernal Affairs.

Infernal Affairs was brilliant. It toured the world, winning accolades, until it came to the U.S. There it was given limited, small, minimal theatrical release. This was one of the biggest films in the world's history. I loved this film, saw it before it ever came to the theatrical run in this country.

The problem i have is that Americans, we, my native country, do not accept other cultures. We take them and remake them, mold them into our image, remake the films to make our own. Sure we let in the occasional foreign object such as slumdog millionaire, but 95% of the time, we simply recreate it. We as Americans are not ready to accept other cultures. It's us or nothing. There is no El Mariachi, there is only an American friendly remake. There is no Tom Yum Goong, there is only the Protector. There is no Infernal Affairs, there is no Hero, there is no Curse of the Golden Flower.

These films are reduced, reused, recycled. Those who find these films beneficial, beneficial, benevolent, and simply good, are marginalized, the freaks, the art house connoseurs who are only fit for France, the enemy, the cheese loving surrender monkeys.

Why we cannot accept outside involvement? We are insular. Literally. A continent reduced to an island.

my problem with the Departed is that it should have never existed. Infernal Affairs should have been given a full run, should have been promoted fairly, not buried and forgotten so as to provide a vessel for DiCaprio to pretend he can act, that Scorsese is still avant-garde.

We've already started remaking their television into our shows.

In Anthropology, they notice how groups do not accept outsiders. Participant-observation. Exogenesis, Entrogenesis. Is our world really that small?

Conversation.

2009-03-09T19:10:00.000-07:00

The art of conversation can be a tricky thing.

Namely, I'm talking about two pitfalls, both of which were brought up to me a month or so ago by a drunken screaming friend.

One, the person who isn't really listening, but merely waiting for a chance to say something. Usually this is something designed to make them look smart, dashing, witty, or possibly to divert the focus away from the current subject onto something more centered around them. Or possibly it's related to what you were discussing, but only in the mind of the person now bringing up the seeming non sequitur.

Two. The bastard who listens to what you're saying, and then throws in their two cents for the conversation, usually in an effort to one-up the speaker. This is Competitive Conversation, and you usually find this amongst men...or people talking about their cats.

Example, "I once killed a mountain lion." Retort, "I once killed two, in the snow, with nothing but my cock."

This is so bloody common, that if you're joining in a conversation and not trying to one-up the others, you may very well be assumed to be trying to anyways.

Much like "Not playing the game" IS your game.

Stupid Societal Blundering.

This has happened to me several times. And if i'm competing, it certainly isn't intentional.

I'm just more interesting than you.

HA!

No More Drinking.

2008-12-27T22:37:00.000-08:00

Very well, it has come to this.

I am a level 1 Cicerone. That's a Beer Expert if you must know.
I am studying to be a certified Beer Judge.
I work at a Liquor store, where I know more about beer than the rest of the employees.

I have been drinking for over ten years. I have tried more beers than anyone else I know. I made it a goal in life to try and drink a beer from every country that produces a beer.

I know beer. I know wine. Just today I was asked a question about wine, and won a free Wine Tasting Tour.

I know beer. I know wine. I know Scotch. I know Irish Whiskey. I know Tequila. I have worked as an expert for all of these.

With the exception of New Years' Eve, I shall no longer drink until I have lost my beer gut and gotten myself back into shape.

My dear Friend is in a similar boat. She works in a Wine Store, and she drinks as often as I do, i.e. daily. She needs to cut back, I need to cut back, we both need to get our respective arses back into shape.

So this is a joint venture. No more Drinking.

And we're not waiting until any New Year's bullshit. No Resolutions. New Years' Resolutions FAIL.

We do not.

The First Blog in a new Realm

2008-03-03T22:05:00.001-08:00

Very well, as this is my first Blog in this site, I suppose I should introduce myself.

I am an ordained Reverend, in the Internet easy as hell sense of the word.

I have a Doctorate in Metaphysics, and both a Master's and a Bachelor's in English.

So the Reverend and the Dr. part are explained. But Godzilla?

A year or more ago, I had the following zephyr of thought:

Thesaurus. Tyrannosaurus. They're both a type of Saurus, which I know means Lizard. Tyrannosaurus means Terrible Lizard, although Tyrant Lizard is more accurate.

So what kind of Lizard is a Thesaurus? The- Lizard. Hrmmm. The- as in Theology? God?

God Lizard. Godzilla!

So as I have been compared to a walking Thesaurus, I became the Rev. Dr. Godzilla.

I am also the Beer Scout, because I constantly try new beers, which I report to you in grandiose Godzilla fashion.

What else can you expect? Random references, obscurita, trivia, and of course, the pompous Bastard sense that comes from anyone writing a blog.

I'm sure you're all familiar with the Biblical tale of Samson and Delilah? How Samson got his strength through his hair, and Delilah cut it off? Well, it's not quite so simple. In actuality, Delilah didn't cut it off. Samson did. Why? Because Delilah kept nagging him to cut his hair! That's right. The nagging woman reduced the man to nothing.

Lesson learned.

I am drowning in Finnish and Slavic Metal. Downloads are great for that.

Arkonost. Great fucking band.

So today, after I got the bad news about my failure to escape Retail Hell, I went to the gym. Because I figured it'd be healthy. Work off the aggression, the anger, the angst, the...appendectomy? No, wait...the Asshole factor. yes...

Alliteration is alive and well, if only in the halls of Godzilla.

So.
I started off on the Cross Country cross-trainer machine. Because if I run more than a mile, my back locks up into a single sheet of solid muscle and submits fillibusters to the Congress of my body.

Digression.
So I'm jammin' on the cross trainer. Got a gnarly Bluetooth headset and a phone with mp3 player capability, so I'm jamming out to...I think it was Thronar.
Good Cimmerian Metal.
And after about ten minutes, I notice people are constantly glancing at me on a consistent basis.
Because I'm going over 100 rpm, which is like sprinting full bore on the Treadmill...
And I continue to do so
for a total of 20 minutes.
At which time I figure I should go hit the weights.
And then Nature did smite me with great vengeance and furious anger.
With the mightiest of her weapons, she did threaten.

The Prolapse.

My shits are Epic.

And for the record, Altenmunster's Winterbier Doppelbock is friggin' great! Buy this beer! Oh, god, the texture is almost a porter, with great malty taste. Mmmm. If you want Hops, go buy a Stone.

Which is amusing, since Hops are a flower. If you want Flowers, go to Stone. Stone Brewing loads up their beer with so much bloody hops, you'd think they own stock in it...but hey, that's the trend in Micro-brewing these days. Add more Hops!

Now, Hops are, of course, a vital ingredient to beer, but they are not the only ingredient. Stone's Oaked Arrogant Bastard Ale is quite good, but their Arrogant Bastard tastes like shit.

I'm not a big IPA fan, what can I say? Drake's Gold Medal IPA is a good though. I'd not hesitate to recommend that one.

So yes. Beer. A fun subject to discourse, disperse, and, naturally, be quite pedantic about.

I am Godzilla.