No More Drinking.

Very well, it has come to this.

I am a level 1 Cicerone. That's a Beer Expert if you must know.
I am studying to be a certified Beer Judge.
I work at a Liquor store, where I know more about beer than the rest of the employees.

I have been drinking for over ten years. I have tried more beers than anyone else I know. I made it a goal in life to try and drink a beer from every country that produces a beer.

I know beer. I know wine. Just today I was asked a question about wine, and won a free Wine Tasting Tour.

I know beer. I know wine. I know Scotch. I know Irish Whiskey. I know Tequila. I have worked as an expert for all of these.

With the exception of New Years' Eve, I shall no longer drink until I have lost my beer gut and gotten myself back into shape.

My dear Friend is in a similar boat. She works in a Wine Store, and she drinks as often as I do, i.e. daily. She needs to cut back, I need to cut back, we both need to get our respective arses back into shape.

So this is a joint venture. No more Drinking.

And we're not waiting until any New Year's bullshit. No Resolutions. New Years' Resolutions FAIL.

We do not.

The First Blog in a new Realm

Very well, as this is my first Blog in this site, I suppose I should introduce myself.

I am an ordained Reverend, in the Internet easy as hell sense of the word.

I have a Doctorate in Metaphysics, and both a Master's and a Bachelor's in English.

So the Reverend and the Dr. part are explained. But Godzilla?

A year or more ago, I had the following zephyr of thought:

Thesaurus. Tyrannosaurus. They're both a type of Saurus, which I know means Lizard. Tyrannosaurus means Terrible Lizard, although Tyrant Lizard is more accurate.

So what kind of Lizard is a Thesaurus? The- Lizard. Hrmmm. The- as in Theology? God?

God Lizard. Godzilla!

So as I have been compared to a walking Thesaurus, I became the Rev. Dr. Godzilla.

I am also the Beer Scout, because I constantly try new beers, which I report to you in grandiose Godzilla fashion.

What else can you expect? Random references, obscurita, trivia, and of course, the pompous Bastard sense that comes from anyone writing a blog.

I'm sure you're all familiar with the Biblical tale of Samson and Delilah? How Samson got his strength through his hair, and Delilah cut it off? Well, it's not quite so simple. In actuality, Delilah didn't cut it off. Samson did. Why? Because Delilah kept nagging him to cut his hair! That's right. The nagging woman reduced the man to nothing.

Lesson learned.

I am drowning in Finnish and Slavic Metal. Downloads are great for that.

Arkonost. Great fucking band.

So today, after I got the bad news about my failure to escape Retail Hell, I went to the gym. Because I figured it'd be healthy. Work off the aggression, the anger, the angst, the...appendectomy? No, wait...the Asshole factor. yes...

Alliteration is alive and well, if only in the halls of Godzilla.

So.
I started off on the Cross Country cross-trainer machine. Because if I run more than a mile, my back locks up into a single sheet of solid muscle and submits fillibusters to the Congress of my body.

Digression.
So I'm jammin' on the cross trainer. Got a gnarly Bluetooth headset and a phone with mp3 player capability, so I'm jamming out to...I think it was Thronar.
Good Cimmerian Metal.
And after about ten minutes, I notice people are constantly glancing at me on a consistent basis.
Because I'm going over 100 rpm, which is like sprinting full bore on the Treadmill...
And I continue to do so
for a total of 20 minutes.
At which time I figure I should go hit the weights.
And then Nature did smite me with great vengeance and furious anger.
With the mightiest of her weapons, she did threaten.

The Prolapse.

My shits are Epic.

And for the record, Altenmunster's Winterbier Doppelbock is friggin' great! Buy this beer! Oh, god, the texture is almost a porter, with great malty taste. Mmmm. If you want Hops, go buy a Stone.

Which is amusing, since Hops are a flower. If you want Flowers, go to Stone. Stone Brewing loads up their beer with so much bloody hops, you'd think they own stock in it...but hey, that's the trend in Micro-brewing these days. Add more Hops!

Now, Hops are, of course, a vital ingredient to beer, but they are not the only ingredient. Stone's Oaked Arrogant Bastard Ale is quite good, but their Arrogant Bastard tastes like shit.

I'm not a big IPA fan, what can I say? Drake's Gold Medal IPA is a good though. I'd not hesitate to recommend that one.

So yes. Beer. A fun subject to discourse, disperse, and, naturally, be quite pedantic about.

I am Godzilla.